Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ever had those days...

It's early afternoon and despite all the running around I have had to do today, my concentration level is at it's lowest.
Over the last few days, weeks, months, my mind just keeps drifting to the past. I know that the past is gone and that we shouldn't dwell there. It's not a conscience thing, it just happens. I miss some people that I left there, back in the past, and it still hurts. I still care for them and wish we had that relationship/friendship again. I don't think I can say or do anything to bring healing to the relationship and in all honesty, I don't really know what I did to loose it but, apparently it was something. If I could fix it, I would. If I knew what to say or do, I would say it, do it, but I don't. I guess they felt that they were making the best decision for themselves and I have to accept it and just hope that they are happy in their lives.
I guess that I am one of those people that when I come to love someone, I love totally and completely, with all my heart, from the depths of my heart. Once given, my love stays forever. I often wish I wasn't that kind of person for in truth, it's caused me gut wrenching heart ache, time and time again.
It isn't just relationship love but friend love as well. I love my friends, those I can count on one hand and it seems that they can hurt you just as deeply as a lover or partner. Maybe I take relationships much to seriously. That is how I am and how I have always been. It's just the way I am. I think that if I could change it, I would.
I have to let go of the past to live my life in the here and now to it's fullest. I will find a way to do that someday but, until then, for those that were a part of my life but no longer are...please know that I am sorry for whatever part I played in the decision you made, that I long for your forgiveness, that you are still in my heart, and I think of you every day. I wish only love and happiness for you.
Mental out

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Finally arrived!

Wow...after weeks of serious stress and anxiousness...we arrived in our new home...once my old home, of South Carolina! I have not been in the low country for many, many years. What changes time as brought!
The trip here was wild and crazy! Driving a 24 foot moving truck through severe thunder storms that skirted tornadoes, in the dark and through the Smokey/Appalachian Mts was a nightmare. I can tell you there were a lot of prayers and tears in that truck! But, God saw us through and we arrived safe and sound.
We have been busy gettings things changed over, setting things up, establishing services and finding banks, schools and all since getting here so there hasn't been much rest time to say the least.
I haven't had much World of Warcraft time...LOL but, am hoping things settle down soon and that I get some time in on my questing.
I am praying now for work and for this new life of mine to be blessed. I am so thankful that my son and his family made the move with me and that I have my sister and family here, that we are all together now. Just need to get my Mom here and life will be sweet! LOL
Take care till next time...
Mental out