Well, I have been meaning to get back here, to catch up with all but, life really got in the way. Where to start...
The last 2 weeks or so have been...gosh, it's hard to find the words. I guess I will start at the beginning...
I got a call from the Mer Monster, for those of you that don't know, Mer is my 14 year old daughter. She is..stubborn, intelligent, talented, beautiful and a pain in my rear end! LOL She is my baby girl, what can I say. Mer called me and she told me that she needed to talk to me, that she had 'done something'. Let me tell you, I have heard these words before but, there was something in her tone of voice that cause a HUGE pit to form in my stomach! I was silent. She told me that she and a group of her friends had been 'playing this game', that she had 'hurt herself'. Even tho it registered somewhere in my brain what she was telling me, it didn't register in some ways. I know that's hard to explain, and understand. She continued and told me that she wasn't hurt that badly and that she had 'snapped' before she had done too much damage. Ok, I was freaking and trying really hard to keep it together all at the same time while listening and picturing this beautiful little girl 'hurting' herself. By 'hurting' I mean stabbing and cutting. These kids who love each other, were doing this to themselves AND each other. Why? Because they hurt so much 'inside' that the pain to the exterior makes them feel better!! Yes, we have all heard of this and these 'cutters' but, WE NEVER THINK OUR KIDS ARE THOSE KIDS! I am here to tell you that THOSE kids are OUR kids! Yours, mine and ours! It doesn't matter if you are black, white, pink or purple; rich, poor or inbetween; it doesn't matter what school they go to, who they hang out with, what clubs they are in or who their Mommy and Daddy's are! They are ALL kids and they are OUR kids! Get a clue people! Our kids are crying out for help! Depression is a HUGE problem with our children!! YOU need to know what your child is doing, saying and what their friends are doing and saying! You need to wake up and pay attention! I was so lucky that my daughter snapped and called me for help! Every day, other parents are not so lucky and they are getting a call from someone else, someone telling them that their child killed themself! Please take some time to research teen depression and the EMO culture that is alive and well....for lack of better words, in our kids lives today! Before it's too late for your child, you and your family. If you have time to read these words, you have time to read about teen depression!
Ok, sorry for yelling but, sometimes ya gotta wake some folks up.
Now, some good did happen during these painful two weeks as well. Last week, I was walking into Church, Granger Community Church which is now our full flegded home church, and as I was sitting down, I heard a rather loud determined voice say, "So, I am worth less than your dirty clothes." Now, I looked around, kinda startled, and embarrassed at the same time. See, I had been thinking that I had some money in my purse...2 piles actually. One pile was a 5 dollar bill with 3 ones, and the other was a 20 dollar bill I was saving for laundry. I wanted to know who heard this voice and how did the voice know I was going to save the 20 for laundry and only give the 8 dollars to the church plate. As I looked and noticed that nobody else heard the voice, I began to realize with my head what my heart knew the instant I heard that voice. I KNEW exactly who said those words...God. I KNEW it. Plain and simple and let me tell you, it was like when you were a child and being scolded by your parent!! I was embarrassed and ashamed, right to the core! I felt soooooooo bad that I can't tell you! And let me tell you that when the church plate came 'round, I couldn't get that 20 bucks in there quick enough! Phewww! It was a relief too!
After I put the money in the collection plate, I turned to my husband to explain why I had given our laundry money. I told him I would explain it better in the car...I didn't want anyone to hear me and think me totally insane, but, that I just had to. He simply smiled and said, "I was thinking that we should give that 20 anyway." I told him later on, about God speaking to me and he didn't even think me crazy a bit. He said he didn't hear God but, he knew God wanted us to give that money.
Just a few days later....worrying about how we were going to pay for repairs to our car and get some food and pay some bills...we got a phone call telling us to come trade in our broken car for a new one...no money down, we got a check in the mail from my blogging for 120.00$ and my hubby got a brand new XBox to replace his that had failed. Now, you tell me that obeying God doesn't pay!! J has been testifying like a mad man all week to the guys at work and anyone that he can get to stop for a second and listen! It's crazy! lol He said tonight...God said follow me and I am saying follow me to God! Let me tell you folks, when God speaks to you, YOU KNOW it! You might ignore it and try to rationalize it away but, YOU KNOW IT! My daughter asks me how do you know when God talks to you? I answer her this way...you know that little voice in your head that says, you know you shouldn't have done that?...well, that's God. I know that isn't really explaining it right or correctly maybe but, it's simple and honest. We know when we do right and wrong, plain and simple. God isn't this huge mysterious creature somewhere, He's plain and simple...He's God. You know Him and you feel Him. He is alive and He is in your life. You may not know it, you may not like it but, it is. When I explain to her the way I do, she gets this look in her eyes like a light bulb went off and usually says oh yeah! She knows, just like you and I know and, just like God knows! So, from a simple and plain woman like me to you...check God out, you really won't be sorry!
Before my hubby was saved, he used to ask me things like "how do you know there's a God" "how do you know God talks to you" "how can you be so sure?!?!" I couldn't explain it well, I don't have the words. I would simply tell him how I found God, my experience and how I felt and feel. I told him, I don't have the words to tell you but, I simply know. I mean look at it this way, if I am wrong, what have I lost? But, if you are wrong...what have you lost? I would rather believe and be wrong than not believe and be wrong!! If I believe and I do, I get to spend enternity in heaven. If I am wrong, and I am not, then, what, I go to sleep forever and ever. If you are right, you get to sleep too but, if you are wrong.....well, we know where you get to spend eternity! So, what side would you rather be on? Me, I am betting on the Big Guy! lol Besides, once you know how awesome God is, you can't go back! God kicks butt! The feeling that God gives is a million times better than anything you have ever tried! I call it the God High! It's amazing! It makes you all silly and giggly and hungry. No, it's not weed, it's the God High! You get silly with joy, giggly with knowing you are saved and hungry for more of God! Hubby and I are 'baby Christians', we are still learning about God and wow, we are hungry to know more! Every single Sunday after the church service is ending we are already looking forward to next Sunday and wishing it was here already! We hunger for knowledge of God! We thirst for Him and want to learn everything we can! It's overwhelming how much we want God in our lives! We can't get our fill of God! LOL
Anway, I invite you, if you live anywhere around Mishawaka, Indiana, to check out Granger Community Church and to check out God, you won't be sorry...and hey, tell Him that the dirty laundry lady sent you, He'll know who you mean. *smiles*
Till next time....