Thursday, May 15, 2008

Demerol Time!

Today is one of those days. The pain is almost more than you can take, it hurts like heck to just sit in this chair and type. My body touching the chair is extremely painful! It brings tears to my eyes and every time I move, it becomes excruciating. And I move because it hurts so I wiggle to find comfort only, there isn't any.

I dread the walk to the printer. The thought of walking down stairs...makes me want to cry with the anticipation of what is to come.

I sit here, talk when spoken to and do my best to hold it in. Concentration is out the window and the fear of what did I forget to do, what if I forget what I am supposed to do, the mad dash to the sticky notes to write down what my instructions are is making me crazy. I pray that no one notices and that no one asks me what is wrong or how I am. I will loose it. I can no longer stand up straight when I head to the ladies room. The pain is pulling me down.

Doctors haven't helped so far and how could they, I have no insurance so, I can never follow up on an emergency room visit. I am afraid to go into the ER now, I owe so much money. I live in pain and I don't know what to do any more.

Ibuprophen is ok but when it hurts like this, for these days when even the merest of movement or touch is like shooting flames, nothing I have in my purse can touch it.

So, this blog probably doesn't make much sense but, I know there's someone somewhere out there that feels like I do, living with pain and can't get help for it because they don't have insurance. Forgive my rant today, forgive my spelling today...well, ok, forgive my spelling every day. See, I had one smile in me today.

Till next time....God Bless and keep you,