Testify

Well, I have been meaning to get back here, to catch up with all but, life really got in the way. Where to start...
The last 2 weeks or so have been...gosh, it's hard to find the words. I guess I will start at the beginning...
I got a call from the Mer Monster, for those of you that don't know, Mer is my 14 year old daughter. She is..stubborn, intelligent, talented, beautiful and a pain in my rear end! LOL She is my baby girl, what can I say. Mer called me and she told me that she needed to talk to me, that she had 'done something'. Let me tell you, I have heard these words before but, there was something in her tone of voice that cause a HUGE pit to form in my stomach! I was silent. She told me that she and a group of her friends had been 'playing this game', that she had 'hurt herself'. Even tho it registered somewhere in my brain what she was telling me, it didn't register in some ways. I know that's hard to explain, and understand. She continued and told me that she wasn't hurt that badly and that she had 'snapped' before she had done too much damage. Ok, I was freaking and trying really hard to keep it together all at the same time while listening and picturing this beautiful little girl 'hurting' herself. By 'hurting' I mean stabbing and cutting. These kids who love each other, were doing this to themselves AND each other. Why? Because they hurt so much 'inside' that the pain to the exterior makes them feel better!! Yes, we have all heard of this and these 'cutters' but, WE NEVER THINK OUR KIDS ARE THOSE KIDS! I am here to tell you that THOSE kids are OUR kids! Yours, mine and ours! It doesn't matter if you are black, white, pink or purple; rich, poor or inbetween; it doesn't matter what school they go to, who they hang out with, what clubs they are in or who their Mommy and Daddy's are! They are ALL kids and they are OUR kids! Get a clue people! Our kids are crying out for help! Depression is a HUGE problem with our children!! YOU need to know what your child is doing, saying and what their friends are doing and saying! You need to wake up and pay attention! I was so lucky that my daughter snapped and called me for help! Every day, other parents are not so lucky and they are getting a call from someone else, someone telling them that their child killed themself! Please take some time to research teen depression and the EMO culture that is alive and well....for lack of better words, in our kids lives today! Before it's too late for your child, you and your family. If you have time to read these words, you have time to read about teen depression!
Ok, sorry for yelling but, sometimes ya gotta wake some folks up.
Now, some good did happen during these painful two weeks as well. Last week, I was walking into Church, Granger Community Church which is now our full flegded home church, and as I was sitting down, I heard a rather loud determined voice say, "So, I am worth less than your dirty clothes." Now, I looked around, kinda startled, and embarrassed at the same time. See, I had been thinking that I had some money in my purse...2 piles actually. One pile was a 5 dollar bill with 3 ones, and the other was a 20 dollar bill I was saving for laundry. I wanted to know who heard this voice and how did the voice know I was going to save the 20 for laundry and only give the 8 dollars to the church plate. As I looked and noticed that nobody else heard the voice, I began to realize with my head what my heart knew the instant I heard that voice. I KNEW exactly who said those words...God. I KNEW it. Plain and simple and let me tell you, it was like when you were a child and being scolded by your parent!! I was embarrassed and ashamed, right to the core! I felt soooooooo bad that I can't tell you! And let me tell you that when the church plate came 'round, I couldn't get that 20 bucks in there quick enough! Phewww! It was a relief too!
After I put the money in the collection plate, I turned to my husband to explain why I had given our laundry money. I told him I would explain it better in the car...I didn't want anyone to hear me and think me totally insane, but, that I just had to. He simply smiled and said, "I was thinking that we should give that 20 anyway." I told him later on, about God speaking to me and he didn't even think me crazy a bit. He said he didn't hear God but, he knew God wanted us to give that money.
Just a few days later....worrying about how we were going to pay for repairs to our car and get some food and pay some bills...we got a phone call telling us to come trade in our broken car for a new one...no money down, we got a check in the mail from my blogging for 120.00$ and my hubby got a brand new XBox to replace his that had failed. Now, you tell me that obeying God doesn't pay!! J has been testifying like a mad man all week to the guys at work and anyone that he can get to stop for a second and listen! It's crazy! lol He said tonight...God said follow me and I am saying follow me to God! Let me tell you folks, when God speaks to you, YOU KNOW it! You might ignore it and try to rationalize it away but, YOU KNOW IT! My daughter asks me how do you know when God talks to you? I answer her this way...you know that little voice in your head that says, you know you shouldn't have done that?...well, that's God. I know that isn't really explaining it right or correctly maybe but, it's simple and honest. We know when we do right and wrong, plain and simple. God isn't this huge mysterious creature somewhere, He's plain and simple...He's God. You know Him and you feel Him. He is alive and He is in your life. You may not know it, you may not like it but, it is. When I explain to her the way I do, she gets this look in her eyes like a light bulb went off and usually says oh yeah! She knows, just like you and I know and, just like God knows! So, from a simple and plain woman like me to you...check God out, you really won't be sorry!
Before my hubby was saved, he used to ask me things like "how do you know there's a God" "how do you know God talks to you" "how can you be so sure?!?!" I couldn't explain it well, I don't have the words. I would simply tell him how I found God, my experience and how I felt and feel. I told him, I don't have the words to tell you but, I simply know. I mean look at it this way, if I am wrong, what have I lost? But, if you are wrong...what have you lost? I would rather believe and be wrong than not believe and be wrong!! If I believe and I do, I get to spend enternity in heaven. If I am wrong, and I am not, then, what, I go to sleep forever and ever. If you are right, you get to sleep too but, if you are wrong.....well, we know where you get to spend eternity! So, what side would you rather be on? Me, I am betting on the Big Guy! lol Besides, once you know how awesome God is, you can't go back! God kicks butt! The feeling that God gives is a million times better than anything you have ever tried! I call it the God High! It's amazing! It makes you all silly and giggly and hungry. No, it's not weed, it's the God High! You get silly with joy, giggly with knowing you are saved and hungry for more of God! Hubby and I are 'baby Christians', we are still learning about God and wow, we are hungry to know more! Every single Sunday after the church service is ending we are already looking forward to next Sunday and wishing it was here already! We hunger for knowledge of God! We thirst for Him and want to learn everything we can! It's overwhelming how much we want God in our lives! We can't get our fill of God! LOL
Anway, I invite you, if you live anywhere around Mishawaka, Indiana, to check out Granger Community Church and to check out God, you won't be sorry...and hey, tell Him that the dirty laundry lady sent you, He'll know who you mean. *smiles*
Till next time....
Mental out

And the rain, rain, rain came down, down, down...

Well, I am thankful I am not in the path of any hurricanes to say the least but, wow, talk about rain! There are standing puddles all around and some streets are simply flooded! We could not even get into the Walmart parking lot yesterday so, I can image what it is like today! Even going to Church this morning was an adventure. Hubby asked me if I thought he should start on the Ark building. lol
Speaking of Church, we attended the Granger Community Church for the first time this morning, on our search for a 'home' church. At first we were a bit unsure due to it being a VERY large church but, we were very pleasantly surprised. Not only was the worship music to our tastes but, the teaching was very currently applied biblical teaching AND there was some wonderful humor throughout the ceremony! It really was a great experience! Even Tybo enjoyed it! We will definetly being going again next Sunday and are looking forward to it alreay!
On another note, I wanted to tell you about this Mr. Clean freebie spongy thingy I got and tried. WOW! It is amazing! It's called the Magic Eraser, something close to that anyway. It cleans soooo awesomely AND effortlessly! For someone with arthritis and Fibromyalgia, it is a must have! I will see if I can find the freebie link but, I only remember that I got it off of Summergal's blog! Her link is here...tell me more, tell me more...I believe is her title. I should know! LOL Because she is one of my bestest friends AND her blog has the most awesome freebies!!
Still another note, I finished another scrap kit today! It is my favorite now! lol I entitled it: Sugar Cookies and it is a Christmas kit. I had a thought of something I wanted to make one night, a sugar cookie and that thought inspired the whole kit! I hope you will check it out! Here is a little quick tag I made to show you the new kit.

http://abcdesignz.blogspot.com/

I also have a new kit that is dedicated to my dear friend Aubrey. It's titled after her. She is incredible and I plan to make a tag with it soon to show you as well.

Right now, I have to run to the t.v. as my Colts are getting killed and I have to go cheer them on!!

Till next time....

Mental out

September 11th

On the way home from work today, I got off early due to lack of work, I was listening to my local Christian station that I love, WFRN, and I heard a song... a song that simply made me cry from the bottom of my heart. It was a speaking voice, set to the music of Silent Night and based on a poem called, "Meet Me In The Stairwell". The voice in the song was God's voice, well, you know what I mean...and wow!! It is a heart and gut wrenching thing to listen to! Here is a link to this song: http://www.visionradioproductions.com/node/577 Please take a moment to listen to it. Be sure to have plenty of tissue ready!! Here is the YouTube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzg1qL6b4uk
And, in rememberance of 9/11/01 Here is the poem by Stacey Randall: "Meet Me In The Stairwell"

'MEET ME IN THE STAIRWELL'
By Stacey Randall
You say you will never forget where you were when
you heard the news On September 11, 2001.
Neither will I.

I was on the 110th floor in a smoke filled room
with a man who called his wife to say 'Good-Bye.' I
held his fingers steady as he dialed. I gave him the
peace to say, 'Honey, I am not going to make it, but it
is OK...I am ready to go.'

I was with his wife when he called as she fed
breakfast to their children. I held her up as she
tried to understand his words and as she realized
he wasn't coming home that night.

I was in the stairwell of the 23rd floor when a
woman cried out to Me for help. 'I have been
knocking on the door of your heart for 50 years!' I said.
'Of course I will show you the way home - only
believe in Me now.'

I was at the base of the building with the Priest
ministering to the injured and devastated souls.
I took him home to tend to his Flock in Heaven. He
heard my voice and answered.

I was on all four of those planes, in every seat,
with every prayer. I was with the crew as they
were overtaken. I was in the very hearts of the
believers there, comforting and assuring them that their
faith has saved them.

I was in Texas , Virginia , California , Michigan , Afghanistan .
I was standing next to you when you heard the terrible news.
Did you sense Me?

I want you to know that I saw every face. I knew
every name - though not all know Me. Some met Me
for the first time on the 86th floor.

Some sought Me with their last breath.
Some couldn't hear Me calling to them through the
smoke and flames; 'Come to Me... this way... take
my hand.' Some chose, for the final time, to ignore Me.
But, I was there.

I did not place you in the Tower that day. You
may not know why, but I do. However, if you were
there in that explosive moment in time, would you have
reached for Me?

Sept. 11, 2001, was not the end of the journey
for you. But someday your journey will end. And I
will be there for you as well. Seek Me now while I may
be found. Then, at any moment, you know you are
'ready to go.'

I will be in the stairwell of your final moments.

God

Award for Scrapdoctor!

I LOVE this blog!! It is so filled with love and wonderful things!! This blog is amazing and I love visiting and love the gifts she shares with us! Thank you for a wondeful blog!! http://scrapdoctor.blogspot.com/
Please email me at: MentalNotez@aol.com to get the award.

Picking Myself up, or trying to anyway...

Lately I have been feeling really lost and empty as well as being in pain, physically and emotionally. I believe that something is going on with my health, more than usual. I have this weird swelling going on, unbelievable swelling, and it gets very painful. My legs, feet, ankles and hands swell grotesquely, I mean huge! I can't walk, I wobble, and it feels as if the skin is ripping off my body with the stretching! It burns and itches. I just don't know what is causing it!
Due to lack of medical insurance, I am unable to get to a doctor. I 'make to much' to receive any kind of aid, and I am simply one of those people left out. If things keep going like this, I am going to head to the ER as I am getting scared of what's going on with me.
The emotional pain is much harder to deal with and explain. I am simply lost. I feel as if I am in this giant, dark pit and though I know there is a way out, I can't find it. I don't know which way to turn, which way to move, so, I stand still, in the darkness. I have come to a point that all I can think to do is to pray. I don't even know what to pray for really though. I am simply going to pray and ask God to help me out of this place I am in. That is all I can do.
I am worried about some friends...Denise, whom I love dearly, who seems so down and blue...I wish you didn't feel that way, I understand, and I would take it from you if I could! Sandra, in the path of Gustav, I fear for you and pray for you. For Jan, also in Gustav's path...May God keep you both safe from harm!
I guess that's about it for now. Not very exciting or inspiring.
Mental out